Feeling Stuck: What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do

No one likes feeling stuck. No one enjoys being unsure of what to do. And when it happens at work, it can feel a hundred times worse. After all, we have been employed to deliver, right? So when we are asked to perform a task or deliver a project and don’t know how, it doesn’t feel good. We have all been there.

Imagine for a moment that your manager has tasked you with a piece of work, and you have

absolutely no idea how to do it. In fact, maybe no one does.

Maybe there has been a new update to the Google algorithm, and you are tasked with dealing with the aftermath. Perhaps you need to find a way for teams to work better together. Maybe your organization has taken on a client from a different industry that no one has experience of. And somehow, you are in charge of making it happen.

It is unfamiliar; there is no ‘best practice,’ and you go into panic mode. Thoughts are darting around your head, mainly negative ones, your heartbeat is increasing, and your palms are getting clammy. You don’t know what to do – you have never worked on anything like this before. Sound familiar?

The truth is, in the fast-paced SEO industry, dealing with the unknown is not uncommon. Constant change is part and parcel of an SEO role, with the need to constantly learn, often with little time or support. This can often feel stressful and fill people with anxiety. The dreaded imposter syndrome raises its head, and confidence fizzles away. It is not a nice feeling.

In this article, I will share ways you can navigate these challenges, look after yourself, and come out stronger.

First things first, take a moment.

Though it may be tempting to dive right into the task, the most important thing to do is to calm down. Easier said than done, I hear you say; and you are right. But there are things you can do to help yourself, such as calming down your body and your emotions. Remember, this response you are having is a normal response to the unfamiliar, and here are some ways of dealing with that response:

There are considerable benefits to changing your physiology, so take advantage of the power of movement. This could be taking some deep breaths, standing up, stretching, or getting outside for a few moments. If you are feeling energetic, try some star jumps or power poses!

Imagine a team about to go into the second half of a soccer game that they are behind in. What do you think the coach said to them as they went back on the pitch? That they were rubbish, useless, and unable to do the task? Probably not because that would not have been true,

kind or helpful.

In the same manner, check how you are speaking to yourself. Instead of unhelpful phrases such as “I don’t know what I am doing,” say “I do not know how to solve this issue yet.” Use language that opens up opportunities instead of closing up all possibilities of a solution.

Give yourself permission not to know, and remind yourself you have done lots of things in the past from the point of ‘not knowing.’ Tell yourself you can figure this out because everything is figure-out-able.

If your inner chatter is saying things like you are not good enough to deal with this task or you are unqualified, pause for a moment, and remind yourself that this is not true. The fact that you have been asked to do this means you are probably the best person for the job. Remind yourself of all you have achieved and the skills and qualities you bring with you.

One tip I share with my clients and have spoken about at BrightonSEO is the BRAVE technique. It has helped speakers and attendees, and is useful whenever you are feeing anxious.

BRAVE stands for:

Breathe

Reframe

Affirm

Visualise

Energise

Breathe — Take long, deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth, making sure your inhalation is shorter than your exhalation. This will calm your body down.

Reframe — Rather than look at the situation with panic because you don’t know what to do, think of it as an opportunity because you don’t know what to do and will get a chance to learn something new. If the only tasks on your plate are ones you are comfortable with, where would your growth come from?

Affirm — Positive statements about yourself. You see, you are always affirming something, which may well be something like, ‘I don’t know what to do,” which will not help your nerves or you. Instead, by saying empowering statements such as “I always figure things out” or “I am knowledgeable and capable,” you will be in a better place to get things done.

Visualize — Visualize yourself getting through the task with ease. See yourself chairing the meetings, crunching the numbers, presenting to the team, and doing it successfully. This process is great for creating pathways in our brain, and our brains think we have already done the task.

Now, let’s deal with the task at hand.

Now that you have calmed yourself down and got a clear head, it’s time to get on with the task. There are all sorts of techniques you can use, but I’m going to go through one I use a lot: the traffic light system.

The traffic light system

First, work out what you do know and don’t know using the traffic light system.

List out all the things that you feel you need to do; it could be as simple as:

• Create a plan

• Add the timeline

• Build a team

• Talk to someone

And you’ll find as you think and write, more ideas will come to mind. Keep building on that list, be creative, think of similar problems you have faced, and as you do, jot them all down.

Once you have exhausted ideas, go through the list and color code it as follows:

• Know how to do it – GREEN

• Have an idea on how to do it – AMBER

• Absolutely no idea – RED

This process will take you from “I don’t know how” to “I have some idea how.” It will give you a visual representation of the task, with steps, and you may be surprised at how much green there is on the list. You probably know more than you think you know. We often do, but fear and panic can get in the way of clear thinking.

Who do you need to talk to?

Now you have a better idea of what needs to be done, talk to the people who will help you build on that. They may be part of your team, connected teams, a supplier, or maybe even a client.

This often is easier said than done, as insecurity can come into play. One of my clients once said, “But how can I ask for help? It is my job, and I am supposed to know how to do all of it.”

Together, we challenged this view of thinking by going through the ABCDE model that neuroscientist Giulia Panozzo talked about on my podcast.

ABCDE stands for:

Action

Belief

Consequence

Disrupter (another belief)

Energise

Learn more by listening to the podcast episode:

Using Neuroplasticity for Personal Growth with Giulia Panozzo — The SEO Mindset Podcast

In my client's case, it went something like this —

Action — She didn't want to ask for help.

Belief — She believed her job was to do it all and know it all, or else she wasn’t doing her job well.

Consequence — She was stuck in the project

Disrupter — Her manager was someone who was there to support her. Someone she could learn from, and this project was an opportunity to grow.

Energize — With this new belief, she could feel energized and move forward.

By speaking to others, and leveraging their knowledge and expertise, continue building a plan and/or solution for the task that will help you gain progress.

What do you need to learn?

This step is about is about figuring out what you need to know. That may be a course, a book, learning from someone in your organization, and so forth. And remember, you don’t have to learn everything, just the bit that takes you forward.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t learn more, read more, or do the whole course, but as a person with these tendencies, I know it can delay the actual progress of taking action.

Take action

So, remember that traffic light exercise? And the subsequent steps to find out more? Don’t wait to have an entire board of green or to ‘know it all’ before you start. It won’t happen, and you actually don’t need to. As you start having a go, you’ll learn more, and the project will open up.

Often, while searching for a perfect solution, it can feel easier and safer to get lost in the details and planning or get busy with other tasks. These actions could be rooted in fear of failure, reluctance to venture out of the comfort zone, or not feeling confident.

However, confidence will come from taking action, so just start!

Set yourself up to succeed

Having a plan and starting to take action is only part of the story. Here are a few ways that can help you stay on track.

Have an accountability partner

You are likely to stay focused and committed to your plan, increasing the likelihood of success if you have someone keeping you accountable. They can offer guidance and encouragement, too, which will help you keep on track towards success.

Be consistent

Make consistency your friend. It will help you progress, build momentum, reinforce positive habits, and help overcome obstacles. It also builds discipline, confidence, and a sense of accomplishment.

One thing that helps my clients is taking a step every day toward their goals, no matter how small. This daily practice soon becomes part of their every day, part of who they are. And very quickly, the compounding effect powers them forward.

Embrace failure

You have probably heard this before, and I am only going to repeat it. If you want to succeed in anything, finding failure on the path there is inevitable. Having lived most of my life playing it safe, I recognized that it really didn’t help me grow or get me where I wanted to be. And after years of upskilling, not taking action, and staying stuck, I decided enough was enough.

I now see each ‘failure’ as a redirection. I’m meant to be doing this in another way, going in another direction. It is also a chance to learn, to get better at something, and to try things another way. Each time things don’t go my way and I pick myself up, I know I get stronger.

Celebrate success

That's another sentiment you’ll have heard before, but it really does work. And these wins do not have to be huge. One of the habits I encourage my clients to have is a ‘win jar’ or a ‘win folder.’ One of my clients who leads a team has a spreadsheet with a tab for each team member.

Each day, or perhaps in a team meeting, write down or record a win. It could be a productive conversation you had with someone, how you handled a situation or an idea that will add value. At the month's or project's end, re-read all the wins and see how they boost your confidence.

And to end, I want to reassure you that no one knows what they are doing all the time; they are just doing their best, which is all you can do.